(sorry-out of order. This was the week before last)
Goooood week in Bari!
Nothing extraordinary happened! But I feel like I've been here long enough that I can "look back" and see "lessons I've learned." A student in our English course taught me an Italian saying: "Impara l'arte e mette la da parte" or "Learn the art and then set it apart/set it aside." Often times we learn things that we don't use for a long time, but then eventually we'll be called upon to use it. I feel that I have learned things in the past that I am just now being called upon to use. And I feel I'm storing up/learning lots of things that the Lord will need me to use in weeks/months/years to come.
So, subject title? Strangely enough, I have felt a out-of-place depression since arriving in Bari. I don't know if I was just missing Mistretta a lot or not used to a new place (which is odd, because usually I thrive on new situations and change). But I just didn't feel... happy. And I wasn't sure why. And I have been asking and praying and talking to God and to other people about it and trying to figure out why. Why do I feel this way? Why do I have this trial? Where is it coming from and how I can I make it stop?
I've learned over the past two months, but especially this week, that sometimes, WE WILL HAVE NO IDEA WHY SOMETHING IS HAPPENING TO US. And we will never know why. At least not at the moment. I still don't know why. But this week I learned to (1) endure it well and (2) don't stress about it so much. Even though I don't know why I feel this way, I can at least try and do my best and not be a negative Nelly despite it. And also... there's no point in stressing about why I don't know. You know, some trials are simply that... trials. There's no ultierior motive. I don't have the trial because I did someting wrong and God is punishing me. It may not be anything I did. And it may not even be something anyone else did. There is no one to blame. A trial is just a trial. So stop stressing and endure it well.
When I realized that, it was like a burden was lifted from my shoulders. And... I feel happy. It was like when I realized that, the cycle of depression liften and it all made more sense. THANKS GOD!
For the spiritual time this week, I wanted to share something I found on mormon.org (I was trying to find how to teach obedience using a Chinese version of the website to a Chinese investigator and I came across THIS!)
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Intelligent Obedience
God does not want us to follow His divine guidance blindly or out of fear of punishment. He wants us to exercise intelligent obedience of our own free will. We need to gain our own witness, or belief, that the commandments really come from Him and help us live happier lives. To obtain this witness, we have to use faith. We have to have a real desire, and we have to be willing to do the work necessary to know these things. In the Book of Mormon, Heavenly Father makes the following promise:
"When ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost." (Moroni 10:4) We can know for ourselves that these things are true. When we know that something is true, we will want to live accordingly for the rest of our lives. The commandments won't feel like arbitrary rules from a detached God. They'll feel like divine guidance that helps us navigate the confusion of life on earth. We will see the benefits of following this guidance in our day-to-day lives and we will feel a stronger sense of peace and spirituality.
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I think that was the best definition of obedience I have heard, especially in regards to how Mormons believe it.
Last thing -- I started studying the Book of Mormon looking for "doctrine" aka "truth as God has revealed it to us." For example, I go through looking for every verse that talks about how God is our loving Heavenly Father, either explicitly or implicitly. I am doing this with all of the doctrine we teach our investigators (God loves us, He blesses families, He reveals truth through his prophets, etc.) and it is AMAZING! It is the best study I have ever done of the Book of Mormon. It makes so much more sense and I have a cool marking system that involves mostly numbers. I'm very excited about it and just thought I'd share.
Shout out!
Carolyn James -- thank you so much for your note! I'm grateful to be a part of your and Bishop James lives as well! BYU 50th Ward will forever go down in history in my book
Bill Fowler -- thank you for the little notes that my mom always sends along. Your encouragement means a lot :) Hope things are well with you
Sherry Shirley -- I thought it was funny how you said my time is almost up when I'm thinking how I'm only halfway done! Different in time perspective, I suppose ;)
GG Fuller & GG Pallett -- thank you for all of your notes! Thanks for being there for Matt and Chloé! I hope Peter is treating you well :)
Professoressa Klein -- Grazie sempre per le note! Adesso abito con Sorella Cajin Christiansen, con cui ho fatto ITAL 340. Parliamo sempre di tutte le cose che abbiamo imparato da quel corso.
Hope everyone is doing well!
Lots of love
Annie
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